But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
try to milk me bitch
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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