I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
