So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
