He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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