i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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