five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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