Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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