...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
3pm strippers are depressing
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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