I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
