I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
