what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
