you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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