your thong is hanging out like whoa
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
