So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
