I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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