yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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