new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
