I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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