I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
