We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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