I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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