Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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