Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
