i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize