i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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