my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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