It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize