Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
