I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
