Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
