I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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