I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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