Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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