every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize