Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
