Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up under a house in Key West
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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