Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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