I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
