its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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