Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
