perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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