I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
