I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
