Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
