Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
