you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
