do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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