At least make sure they are 18
Why
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
