I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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