how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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