she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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