my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
