I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
