This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize