Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
