I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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