You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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