My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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