That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
